House Party

A few friends were celebrating their birthdays yesterday, so it was an evening of house party hopping. Felt good to stay away from the clubs for a night and just have 35 too many casual wine glasses with good peoples.

Before I go on about the night, here's the related song - a great Apt One edit of Fred Wesley's (pictured above) "House Party".

Fred Wesley - House Party (DJ Apt One edit) (zShare)

K so the first spot was a formal dress affair with food everywhere. I was on a heavy pinot grigio tip and spent 10+ minutes trying to convince some guy that the red plastic covered round cheese with the strawberry leaf on top of it was actually a mini tomato (and thus, should be simply thrown into a mouth and eaten in a single shot). He didn't bite (yay pun), left to go sit on his girlfriend's lap, and thouroughly examined her previously acquired food choices with some next level tonsil hockey. I dipped to washroom mission it before heading out and ended up waiting in line way too long (the friend who was coming to the next spot with me toilet-blocked everyone so she could "toothbrush the red wine purpleness out" of her mouth). So while standing in the narrow hall and catering to the "so your name is actually Igor?" questions, I overhead the following conversation to my left (which I had to write up and save in my phone):

Guy1: I'm gonna call you Russell Brown.
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: Cause you're a dude that totally reminds me of him.
Guy2: Ummmmm, no.
Guy1: Shut up Russell Brown.

Midnight hit, the birthday girl got her song and cake in face, and we were off to the next place (hotel party for an out of town friend celebrating her champagne birthday). Everyone was already beyond tipsy off the bubbly, and I arrived just on time to catch the uninvited out of town randos that later gave me a massive stomach ache from laughter galore. One, dressed in a purple silk shirt and grey suit, introduced himself as "Prince". Simply, just, Prince. When someone asked "Prince what though?", he LL Cool J licked his lips and replied "of Ghana?". An unidentified female goes "uhhhh no, I know that royal family", to which Prince's Borat looking unbottoned pink shirt bodyguard (who had a shorter hairy chested follower dressed just like him standing by his side) replied with the most awkwardly angry, yet confused, burning stare. Kinda like he wanted to tell her to shut her filthy mouth, but couldn't quite figure out how to say it in english. Anywaaaaaaaaays, it was actually their posse leader that made us shit ourselves with chuckles. He was brown, really happy, and bursted into random Punjabi music video behaviour every few minutes. His name escapes me. I told him he reminded me of Saturday afternoon Omni Tv specials. He said he actually has the uncle of the star actor from Slumdog Millionaire on his facebook. And that he speaks "like five to seven languages". He also tried grinding with a male friend of ours while explaining how, when clubbing in India, he can only pick up 3 out of every hundred girls.

"Thasss like, 3...4 percent... ONLY! And I don't like even fucking get it because my mum has always said I'm the only one in the family that got the best non-hairy genes".

That comment led to this phone-saved convo:

Omni Tv: And my girlfriend too, even. She gets all thisss goosebumps when I massage her. She's South American and hairy and they rise when I massage her.
Corey: And what do you say to that?
Omni Tv: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK CAUSE SHE SO SEXY!!!


I leave you with that. There was a camera floating around, so as soon as I see some pics surface I'll make sure to thrown some in here (for visual support).